when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
