please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
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the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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