I smell stomach acid.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
