I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
