And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
