what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
