never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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