Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
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her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
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Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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