hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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