His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
