you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
