not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
