I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize