Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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