You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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