I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
