Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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