Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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