A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
