Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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