She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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