You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
