is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
