I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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