So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
