the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
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Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
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He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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