Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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