He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
