So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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