If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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