I just cut my nipple shaving
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
