Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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