Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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