You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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