last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
