I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
