i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
