like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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