He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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