what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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