I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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