You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
