This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
