what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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