im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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