you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
