Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
