dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
