so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
