sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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