The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She even gives head with a lisp.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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