normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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