The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
