how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
