yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
