This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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