Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
