apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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