If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
