im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
