is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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