What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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