So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
