It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
