She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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