never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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