Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Semen is not good for contacts.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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