My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
