It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
