I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize