you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
