I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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