So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just want nice things and good sex
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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