Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
