I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
