No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it's like iHOP with fire
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
