The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
